While you probably don't want to treat the person you're playing with in a mean way, you do want to be distant, busy, and reserved. Just keep in mind that you are "playing" with somebody's emotions, so be gentle if you break their heart. Nevertheless, let the games begin! Steps 1 Avoid being or appearing to be needy. Being desperate or clingy is the COMPLETE opposite of playing hard to get. Develop the patience to let things develop at a pace based on someone else's interest rather than on yours.
Don't let the fact that all your friends seem to have that special someone make you impatient; instead, pace yourself and take it easy it just isn't your time yet and there is no deadline on pairing up with another person. Let him be the first to come to you. The person who makes the first move is always put in a weaker bargaining position than the person who chooses whether or not to accept it. Don't be the first to call. Let him call you.
Remember, men like to know that you're interested, but they still like the thrill of the chase. Don't be the one to set up the first dates. Instead, give him hints if he needs nudging along: If you're busy enjoying your life as it is, playing hard to get will come naturally because you'll have too much going on in your everyday life to be easily available. The bottom line is that if you're happy, and carefree, people will notice.
Go out with your friends. Don't be a wallflower. It's hard to play hard to get if you're never out on the town. Do fun things that make you happy and you'll stop wondering how to play hard to get and start living it. Go to social events, join clubs at school, ask your friends to introduce your to their friends. Really take interest in those people. The more people you know, the more credible your busy schedule will be.
The key is to keep the other person asking questions so that they can find out more about you. To test a partner's level of interest and willingness to commit. They were also more likely to be used by those with narcissistic or manipulative personalities some of whom also played hard to get to cover that they were actually dating other people, too. Participants were asked to rate their interest based on scenarios of potential partners who were described as either very easy to get low availability ; very hard to get high availability ; or in between medium availability.
The results showed that both men and women preferred very easy to get partners for short-term sex, but preferred partners who had medium availability for dates and relationships. Should You Play Hard to Get? They can also be a way to test a partner's level of interest and commitment. As other research notes, the approach of playing hard to get is a trade-off between desire and frustration —pulling the potential partner in and then pushing them away. As a result, you begin the process by building initial interest and getting attention, then switch gears by becoming aloof and letting others chase you.
Playing hard to get requires that you first learn how to be attractive to others in different ways and know how to get their attention. Many of the remaining behaviors associated with playing hard to get are ways of prolonging the chase—and these tactics assume that interest is already present. The objective is to be "moderately" hard to get and selective, not completely inaccessible and off-limits.
This is especially true when you want to establish or maintain a longer-term relationship. Which brings me to… 3. Flirt with others in front of them. Many people feel like they are somehow cheating or being amoral if they flirt with multiple people in the same night — or at the same time! However, committing to flirting with only one person at a time gives that person too much power to make or break your night. This puts pressure on both of you, and pressure kills sexual attraction.
When I was single, I would flirt with as many as 15 to 20 different men in one night out, most of them for only a minute or two, before figuring out who I wanted to focus more of my attention on. Because of this, I almost always got at least one first date lined up every time I went out. Being hard to get does not mean being flaky. Because of this, one of the essential pieces of playing hard to get is not answering your phone or text, email and Facebook right away.
Sometimes when you meet someone, sparks naturally fly and you get high on all of the delicious brain chemicals that come with sexual excitement. When this happens, you are literally under the influence of your own emotions and not able to make rational decisions. Was I really attracted to them? Were they really interesting?